Don't you just love it when you're on the phone and you know the guy at the other end is dying to use the toilet? Have you ever been in that situation? Or maybe were the unfortunate one at the other end?

It has happened to me a couple of times.

I have one friend who has a dog and on weekends (usually Saturday morning, when I'm still asleep) he goes for a walk with said dog that is longer than those during the week, about 2 hours. He gets bored easily and he has a flatrate for his cell phone, so he usally calls me and after 'apologizing' for waking me up, he rambles on about all the world and his brother. One time he was wheezing after a while and repeatedly forgot what he was talking about, interrupted by a lot of ehs and uhms. He constantly told the dog off for whatever dogs can do wrong and was generally rather impatient. After a while, he sounded almost panicked and finally interrupted our conversation.

"Uh, you know, don't be angry, but I gotta ring off. I...eh...really have to....uhm...pee and I gotta hurry back to the car or I... yeah, well."

With that he hung up on me and I was rejoicing in the knowledge that he would probably need around 20 minutes to get back to his car and about the same amount of time to get back home. He takes those walks at a lake and there is no chance to relieve yourself unnoticed, there are hundreds of joggers and other dog owners and there is no café or anything. He called me later in the afternoon and apologized for hanging up on me, he was rather embarrassed but tried to laugh it off. I reassured him that I wasn't angry


Another friend of mine, my best friend actually, he never has to piss. Never. I've known him for more than six years and maybe noticed him pee ten times. He isn't pee shy either, one time we were camping in the fields and were sitting around in a group of maybe ten people, when he calmly got up and said he was going to take a piss and if he should bring beer for anyone on his way back. (Unfortunately I was completely wasted at the time and eagerly bounced out of my seat. "Oooooh, can I come watch?!" In my state, getting up quickly hadn't been wise, so I stumbled against him and clung to his shoulder, sporting a maniacal confident grin.)

Anyway, once I was talking to him on the phone when he interrupted me and said I should hurry up, he had to piss. I said okay and talked slower. After a while he said it was getting urgent and I basically ignored it, later stating I had thought it was a joke to end the call (I have a bit of a habit of talking to much ). I could hear him walk around and heard a door close, when he turned a key I knew he was already in the bathroom, especially as his voice sounded different with the tiled walls. I heard something clink, it sounded like he was pressing himself against the sink and he said that he had to go and now. I was like 'Oh really? Thought you were joking and trying to get rid of me. Anyway, just a few seconds, we really need to clarify...'. We were planning a birthday party for a friend, so we really had to clarify a few things, ha. He groaned but agreed and I heard him unbuckle his belt and lift the toilet lid, so I knew he was dying for a piss, probably already aiming at the bowl and just waiting for me to finish talking. I was a glorious feeling

Love it.

Often I have been on the phone when the other person has had to ring off because they needed the loo but never a guy who I wanted to get desperate.

You are one mean cookie but I think it is great.

I love being out with a guy in an unfamiliar place to them and when they have to pee take them the long way around but also do the girly - oh look at this in shop windows etc. Makes for some good pee dance watching especially as most windows are reflective so you can look and "look" if you get my drift.



I too have a male friend who seems to have a camel bladder but I also know that the need to pee kicks in suddenly. He can go for hours and hours without a pee but then when he has to go he has had really little warning between not needing and being desperate to go. Coupled with the fact that he has a huge bladder I would hate for him to ever have an accident otherwise we would all drown.

That's the beauty of it, isn't it? Just behave all girly and they will never suspect anything

The incident I talked about above, when I drunkenly asked if I could watch... he let me!

Him and the other guys were making a few more or less intelligent penis envy jokes, told me I was cute when drunk and my best friend kissed my forehead a little patronizingly and let me tag along.

I once invited someone to watch. Well, not in those words exactly. He was a new client, openly gay, and we were out at a building site. From watching his eyes I knew what he was curious about, so I pointed to a clump of trees and said, "Let's go over this way. I could use a piss." He followed, we stopped, I extracted and released, he watched with a broad smile on his face. We got repeat business from him.